Remember how I always talk about how things don’t always (and usually don’t) go as planned? Well today went so far from my plan, I can’t even put it into words. In one word, all I can say is that today was a huge disappointment.

The first workout of the Crossfit Open was released on Thursday night, and I wanted to do it right then and there. I was ready. I was ready Friday morning and pretty much all day Friday. But, of course, since my town has no Crossfit gym, I had to wait until Saturday to do the workout. This big time delay definitely was a factor in my poor performance. First of all, when I’m ready to go, I’m ready to effing rock and roll. I’m impatient and I don’t like to wait. As you can imagine, being amped up for that long of a time is exhausting… especially when you can’t channel it into something as important as the first workout of the Crossfit games season. This morning I woke up and for some reason I just wasn’t feeling it. My mind wasn’t in the right place, I wasn’t really in the mood to workout, and, I can admit it: I had doubts. I had doubts about my ability, knowing that this workout was absolutely not in my wheelhouse. My confidence wasn’t very high… and my positive attitude? Well, not so positive.

Crossfit Open: 14.1 

10 MINUTE AMRAP

30 DOUBLE UNDERS

15 SNATCHES (75/55)

So, I trudged out the door, got into my car, and drove out to Quincy to do the workout… which is an hour and 15 minutes away. Yes, the drive sucked. Me, alone in the car, my mind going absolutely crazy, and my body just cooped up in a car seat for an hour and 15 minutes. Not exactly a great beginning to my competition day. I walked into the gym and everyone was beyond welcoming…. absolutely wonderful and supportive people (as I knew they would be) and they all introduced themselves to me and introduced me to the rest of the group. So that perked me up a bit.

When I started stretching and getting loose, I was still feeling jittery. This wasn’t a good type of jittery… I perform well under pressure, and I’m going to be honest… having all eyes on me helps me do better. Today just wasn’t right. I felt bad nerves and I felt unprepared, unrested, and overall just SHITTY. After I got warmed up, I was ready to go… but then at the last second was told I should wait until the second heat. All my amped up energy was starting to make me exhausted, and I was back to sitting alone with my crazy thoughts for 15 minutes or so.

After this, things went downhill. Knowing there’s double unders, I have to tuck my hair into my sports bra so it doesn’t get caught in the rope. Well, just my luck, my hair flew out, got caught in the rope, and had to spend probably 15 seconds getting my hair out of the way and re-tucking it into my sports bra. Sounds ridiculous, I know. It was stupid. After that, (and I hate to admit this), my mindset was, “Fuck this.” I didn’t even want to keep going with the workout. My motivation at that point was completely gone. In all honesty, I had given up. And I hate that. I hate that more than what I perceive to be a crappy score. I hate the fact that I had to go to such lengths just to get excited for this workout… only to mentally give up halfway through. It really is a shame, which is why I’m re-doing it on Monday. Something good that came out of today, though? Every single person told me I did a great job and I felt very at home over at Crossfit QTown. I already feel like I made a new group of friends… which is great, because this is where I’ll be going for the next month of the Open!

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The drive home, as you can imagine, was dreadful. I couldn’t let go of the fact that I had done so poorly. I didn’t give it my all, and that truly breaks my heart. It’s a good thing I have tomorrow to attempt to regather my thoughts before Monday… because I need all the motivation and positive thoughts that I can muster.

After moping around the apartment for a while and trying to shake my mind of this morning, I decided to go lift. Real quick, here’s what I did.

Front Squats: 3 Reps ON THE MINUTE for 8 Minutes @ 75%

One and One Quarter Front Squats: 3 sets x 3 reps @ 70%

Weighted Strict Chest To Bar Pullups: 7 sets x 3 reps (35 pounds added)

I didn’t have it in me to do another wod today. I’m physically and mentally drained and it would probably be counterproductive to force myself to do a wod anyway.

Have a good one, folks .

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